Life in a bubble: The Nida Dar Diary

Touring in the times of COVID19 is a unique experience as Pakistan's veteran all-rounder Nida Dar is finding out. Through her tell-all diary, Dar invites us into the bubble life as she documents her journey each day of this 25-day tour of South Africa.

Excerpts from the diary:

January 12, 2021

Day 1: Sanitize, sleep, repeat

I was already tired by the time we boarded our flight to South Africa. I just watched a movie and fell asleep. My entire journey in fact, from Pakistan, has been spent either sleeping or sanitizing myself.

Although practically we have gone through these processes already, being in the bio-bubble for two weeks before leaving for South Africa, something feels different here. The protocols to follow are the same, but in a different country, it doesn't feel the same.

We are coming in this bubble with a routine. If we are not wearing masks, we can feel something is missing. After coming here, I put on two masks and was washing my hands excessively at all times. Even on the flight, I was overcautious about the hygiene and ensured that I wasn't visiting the washroom too often. That was also the instruction from home. We're going to play international cricket after 10 months. The last thing we want is to come here and fall ill.

I've been overcautious and even gone around telling a couple of people to double up their mask cover. Maybe it's because I come from a family of doctors and it has been reinforced in me so many times since the pandemic has hit that it's showing up now.

January 13, 2021

Day 2: Home Alone

It feels good to have a roommate just to say, "chal, ek chai pila de". Now, I've to make my own tea. But I've realised that I become more responsible when I'm alone. I become more punctual, pray more often and feel a sense of responsibility. I also like my privacy. It gives me my space to think. And when you've to talk, you always have your phone. Today, most of us got on a one and a half-hour long video call, discussing how we've been spending our time alone. After dinner, like always, Iram Javed, Anam Amin, Nashra Sandhu and I played PUBG for an hour. Ayesha Zafar won't be playing with us on this tour as she is preparing for her exams. She has been busy, otherwise we would have added her as well to the group.

I also got the time to finally finish off watching 'The Test'. It was zabardast! To get a glimpse of what's happening inside their dressing room was interesting. We always felt that for a team like Australia which is No 1, there would be no tensions in those dressing rooms. But the fact is we are all the same. Even the best team and the best player undergo the same pressure to perform. Even the best player gets criticised and is in the news. There's nothing different. In fact, the pressure is higher for them because they get more coverage, all their matches are telecast live.

January 14, 2021

Day 3: Stepping out

Today was the practice day, we finally got to step out. We had to play in four separate groups and weren't allowed to interact with each other. I was grouped with Nahida Khan, Diana Baig and Omaima Sohail. I really like this format, it is more intense and allows me to focus better on my preparation. As I told you yesterday, being in a room alone, I become more responsible. That helps me understand what I want to do and I perform better. I thoroughly enjoyed my training today although it was quite hot. Humidity is high - around 70-80 percent. It's the monsoon season here, it becomes a bit cloudy after 3. But when we started practising, it was quite sunny and so humid that it felt like someone had opened shower over our heads. When we left Karachi, the temperature was only around 20 degrees, and near my house it was as low as 4 degrees.

We are unlikely to get to step outside on this tour apart from training and playing. I had not only mentally prepared myself for this tour but also packed differently, especially carrying extra food supplies than we usually do. We buy a lot of munchies when we go out shopping on tours. But with that unlikely to happen here, I've ensured that I don't fall short on my supplies, especially the cake rusk and nuts, which are among my favourites go-to snacks.

I have even told my sister's kids, who usually make requests, that I won't be allowed to step out and buy anything for them this time on tour. They are quite young but even understand the prevailing situation.

January 15, 2021

Day 4: Getting back

We had our second group practice session today, where we did our fielding drills followed by nets. Quite the opposite of how it was yesterday. It was another good, enjoyable session. At some point during these months, I was left wondering if everything was over for us?

When we came back from the world cup, we had just heard about COVID19. We didn't realise that it was only going to get worse from thereon, that there would be such a big break. We spent the first few months hoping that the pandemic would get over in some time but it just got worse, and as our wait increased, our frustration only grew. As cricketers, every day we are packing our bags, exercising and looking forward to play. When we are sitting at home and have nothing to do, it's a life of frustration. There was also the fear of what will happen if there is no cricket?

However, it allowed us time to spend with our families which we weren't getting earlier. The break also gave me time to think. I realised that as players, we are making sacrifices at all times. We wade through harsh heat, intense sweat and hard work to do what we do. I took that as a motivation, telling myself that "I'm a player, this is a situation in front of me, now how do I get out of this?" That's why I got out of this. Otherwise, I would've continued with the same chain of worries, thinking that there's no cricket for us from hereon and that's the end of the road for me.

In a way, it was a good time for me to learn how to handle such situations and get out of it. It was a good time for me to introspect, assess my life problems and find solutions on how I should move ahead in life.

We also had some camps and the domestic tournaments in between. That allowed us to get back to our routines. I started my cricket only 15 days before the domestic season. I got some time to work on my game and then continued to work on it through the season. Thanks to Allah, we have got this series. Being a senior player, my performances haven't been great in the last one year. This series is a good opportunity for me to perform and get back to form.

January 16, 2021

Day 5: Back with the team

Today, we finally met all our teammates after we had returned negative with our COVID-19 test results. We had a long 'match scenario' session. It was hot and tiring but I'm glad that I managed to achieve most of the targets that I had set for myself. We had to defend 40 runs in five overs with the ball and score 45 in five overs with the bat. I got to bowl two overs and even picked a few wickets.

While returning to our hotel, the sky had become cloudy and it even started raining during the course of our one-hour journey. I went and sat on my seat on the back row of the bus. The last row is usually... no, always left empty for me because everyone knows waha Dar ne baithna hai. I'm mostly accompanied by Anam Amin. Even during the domestic matches recently when we were maintaining social distancing in the bus, that last seat was reserved for me. There are times when some newcomers unknowingly come and take that seat, but they either get curious stares from the rest in the bus who are waiting for me to come and react or are informed about it. It's funny!

Today, in the bus, they played Titliyan by Hardy Sandhu again. It's a really popular song with the team these days and most of them are often humming that. We mostly play recent songs that are popular to ensure everyone in the bus enjoys it. But it has to be a song that people can dance to. By any chance, if a sad song gets played and people become quiet, it is changed immediately. I listen to the songs played in the bus even if I'm watching a show on my phone. It's only when I want to zone out, that I put my headphones on and five to seven minutes before reaching the venue I begin chatting with my teammates.

January 17, 2020

Day 6: The meetings day

I've been jumping from one meeting to another all day. But team meetings aren't as boring anymore as they used to be earlier when they were really long and we were left watching videos and picking points from there. It's a lot more specific and short these days. We have different leaders for different groups. Like how Javeria Khan leads the batting group and Diana Baig handles the fielding group, I'm the leader of the bowling group.

It's in my nature to give feedback and suggestions to other players whenever I see them doing something right or wrong. I pass a lot of my inputs to Fatima Sana as well, who reminds me a lot of my younger self. When I look at her, I feel like if I take myself back 10 years, maybe I was like her - daring and loved it if a challenge was thrown at me. She's an in-swing bowler who can skid the ball a bit, just like I was when I started off. I would have continued bowling pace if not for my stress fracture.

There isn't a lot of boriyat in the team meetings where plans are discussed. But we also had the ACU meeting where we end up listening to the same things that we've heard several times over. So what's being spoken in those meetings gets into your ears, but... you know what they are saying.

January 18, 2020

Day 7: First look of the battleground

Today, we went to Kingsmead for training. It's where we will be playing all our games. It's the first time South African women too will be playing an international match at the venue. We had an intense training session and it was quite hot as well. We did some fielding drills and had a power-hitting session.

During the lockdown, we had the chance to speak to Babar Azam in an online session. Since we are not playing too often in Pakistan, we are rarely interacting with the men's team. Even our practice schedules rarely sync. So when we get to talk to a player like Babar Azam, it's exciting. When we're speaking to a big player, we get to ask them about their routine, diet and training. It's the same with Shahid Afridi as well, who I may have met a hundred times but still get excited every time I meet him.

Babar's process in training is quite similar to that of Mohammad Azharuddin, who had once said that he catches anything red that flies past him. If you make your routine so strong, you will naturally improve your skills and that's what I picked up from that session and have been trying to do in my training.

January 19, 2021

Day 8: Zoning in

I'm usually excited before a match day but that fact that we will be playing our first international match in almost 10 months makes it a bigger deal. On pre-match days I prefer being zoned out from the outside world. Watching videos of my past performances helps me. I try to watch videos that are as old as possible so that I can learn what had worked for me long back. I also try to watch videos of other people's performances.

The only time I'm relaxed around a game is when I'm playing. Or, if I've practised well and I've had a good time on the field, that's the only time I feel relaxed. After that, I put myself at ease by joking around. But if I've had a good day, I don't want it to go wasted. I don't want to fool around too much and lose my focus from the game. On those days, I try harder to hold on to my learnings. I don't want to let go of whatever has worked for me.

We had a light practice session today and I've practised well. Not only was I bowling well in the nets but also had a good outing with the bat. I'm especially excited about my batting. I was middling the ball well and hoping to play well tomorrow. I'm extremely confident of my practice. The wicket is in our favour, we have practised well and confident that we're going to win. Above all, we were just too happy to return to playing international cricket.

Click here for Part 2 of Nida Dar's diary.

(As told to Aayush Puthran)