Manoj Tiwary - The indefatigable 'Chota Dada'

Rs. 7200. Yes, the calculation was simple. If he could survive with only tea and biscuits for dinner, playing five days a month, that's how much he could save through match fees and allowances. That was still Rs. 2,200 more than what his father, who was a clerk in the Railways, earned. That should help, at least for then, it did.

To ensure the education of his three kids in an English medium school, Manoj Tiwary's father had to take loan from banks. It wasn't an expense that he could afford with his meagre salary. With few means to pay off the loans, the interest only kept mounting. "When there is a burden of loan on your head, a lot of fights happen inside the house. It's because of the pressure that a man gets into despite working hard all day. It was a small house, so whatever happened, happened in front of our eyes," Tiwary recalls.

He stops. Stares at the wall. In a more affirmative tone, repeats. "There were a lot of fights."

That financial burden became central to almost every life decision and action Tiwary had to make during early teenage. To ensure that he didn't have to spend any of the allowance money, he would bunk his dinner and wait for the next day to get food at the ground. "After the match got over, I used to eat a lot (at the ground) so that I didn't feel hungry at night."

Knowing fully that cricket was helping him earn good money and reduced the burden on his family, not only was he not pressurised into academics but he himself shifted his focus from football to cricket as a career choice. "There is a love for the game, yes. At the same time, money was a big factor in taking up cricket seriously. But I also realised money will come only if I play well."

While dealing with the financial woes of his family, his cricketing exploits caught attention across the nation. At a very young age, he was earmarked for big exploits on the cricket field. In Bengal, he was handed the responsibility of carrying forward Sourav Ganguly's legacy. 'Chota Dada' is what he is called.

The tag was given to him by the Bengali media when he had a 117-run partnership with Ganguly during the 2006-07 final against Mumbai to lead Bengal's fightback. While Ganguly was in the evening of his career, Tiwary was young and had had a superb season. "Chota Dada sounds good to hear...," he says with a smile, but adds "whatever Dada has achieved for Bengal or India, I've not achieved anything close to that."

He can probably accept rightfully that he hasn't been able to live up to that reputation, but it wouldn't be too wrong to say that he was also a bit unlucky. He could've led India in the 2006 Under-19 World Cup, but missed the mega tournament by a few months. "My father didn't know how to reduce age and all... You know how it works."

But that was simply a beginning of a never-ending tale of ill fate that hit him. Only a month after the Ranji final, India had crashed out in the group stage of the 2007 World Cup. A young team was sent to Bangladesh for a three-match ODI series following that, and Tiwary was set to make his debut in the first game.

He was only 21. Excited. Nervous. Wanted to show-off. Noticing a bunch of scribes observing his practice sessions, he wanted to impress them. He wanted to impress everyone.

When the fielding drills were going on, a day before the first match, the ground was damp due to morning rains and Tiwary attempted to go for a diving catch. However, instead of sliding, his foot got stuck and he fell on his shoulder. He still thought it was a minor injury and a few injections would leave him fine, but given the short span of the series, it meant that he couldn't participate in any of the games.

Disappointment followed pain, and helplessness followed disappointment. He went to his room and cried all by himself, not knowing where he could find adequate sympathy or the words that could get him going. "That was heart-breaking, to be honest," he recalls. "I cried a lot. I normally never cry on my cricket tours. It was something I was not expecting and it happened. I didn't know what to do. If I am in pain, I try and hide it from the family, because the family gets tensed about everything and overthink, which I didn't want them to do."

On learning about his condition, while on his way to Bangladesh for the Test series, Sachin Tendulkar advised Tiwary to take the treatment from the best possible shoulder surgeon and arranged for his operation in London, through phone calls to the then BCCI president Sharad Pawar. "I had no clue how these things worked. Sachin paaji took time out and arranged for everything. He helped me a lot."

He finally made his debut, less than a year later. It was a quick trip to Australia, one of many. Flown in as a cover for Yuvraj Singh, he was kept on stand-by for the southpaw, who had a niggle in his knee. The final decision on Yuvraj was going to be made on the day of the match, and the result was that Tiwary, who had arrived to the country only a day ago, would have to play. There was no time to get used to the conditions or relax after a long flight. But it didn't matter, nothing could've worked as a good enough excuse when your international debut is calling.

It was the big Gabba. 40,000-odd crowd. Loud. Gautam Gambhir had just been adjudged leg-before. Brett Lee had found his rhythm. His pace had never gone. All of 21, the occasion got to Tiwary. Again, he was nervous. Again, he was excited. The likes of Lee, Matthew Hayden, Adam Gilchrist, Ricky Ponting were people he had grown up watching and admiring. In person, however, they looked far more huge than he had imagined, and far more nastier than he had expected. They weren't welcoming, neither was the crowd. It didn't help matters that at the other end was a 19-year old Rohit Sharma, who was facing his own cultural introduction. There was little he could do to soothe Tiwary's nerves.

For everything that seemed imposing, at least the chatter didn't. He couldn't understand what they were saying. "They were chirping a lot. But my English wasn't good back then, and their accent is anyway hard to understand. So it didn't matter what they were saying, but they were coming at you - huge and intimidating."

Tiwary was down with 102 degree fever, while narrating the story; often shifting conversation from cricket to thermometers. Nonetheless, while talking about his debut he still got animated. It isn't something he is going to forget any time soon, unlikely for a life time. His eyes were wide open, so was his mouth as he tried to re-enact his own emotions on watching the Australians.

"It's never a good idea when you are concentrating on the bowler rather than the ball." It surely wasn't. He was in awe of Lee. He had seen him on television as a kid; now, he was facing the kind of pace he never had. Thus, all it took were two runs and 15 balls for the pacer to rattle his stumps. The beginning was short, but not sweet.

He didn't get to play for India for three years thereafter.

He knocked at the doors of the selectors harder the next time. Unfortunately for him, many more were knocking as hard too. Tiwary became a regular fixture in the 15-member ODI squads, but found it extremely difficult to break into the the starting XI. While most players were doing reasonably well, selectors opted to give the likes of Suresh Raina and Rohit Sharma a longer run. In the five series that followed the 2011 World Cup, Tiwary played only five games, that too only after India had either won or lost the series. For nearly two years, he remained the perennial 12th man of Indian ODI cricket.

In the last of those five games in 2011, he scored his only international century. With India having won the series against West Indies already, Sehwag, who was the captain, decided to rest, giving Tiwary an opportunity to play. "I was willing to bat at any position, but Sehwag asked me what position I would prefer to bat. I said No. 4, and I got that. I'm grateful to him.

"I wasn't going to bat at No. 4 because Duncan Fletcher, at that time, wanted to give a higher batting order to Rohit Sharma and Suresh Raina, but Sehwag was kind enough. He knew I used to bat at No. 4 for Bengal for so many years."

As it turned out, Ajinkya Rahane and Parthiv Patel were out for first-ball ducks, leading to Tiwary entering the crease in the first over itself. It was an unfamiliar position but it wasn't a time he could make excuses. He battled cramps and grafted his way to a match-winning century before retiring hurt.

His next opportunity came more than eight months later, yet again, with only two matches left in the series. He bagged four wickets in the first game and stroking a 65 in the next. He seemed to be doing everything that he could at that point, proving himself at every opportunity he got. But there was just no place in the starting XI to accommodate him. For nearly two years, thereafter, he didn't play for India.

What seems like to be the final nail in the coffin of his national dream was the 2015 Zimbabwe series. India had decided to send a second string side on the tour and as a result, Tiwary, who was on his annual vacation with his wife, was called in. With limited preparation ahead of the series, he failed. As it turned out, the Zimbabwe series proved to be the only series in which he got an opportunity right from Game One. Not that a good performance in the series would have found him a place in the first side, but at least he would been on the fringe for longer. A poor show there, coupled with good performances by some of the youngsters, pushed him off the radar of national selectors.

It was only a beginning of a year full of frustration for him, capped off by his rejection at the IPL auction. After being left out by Kolkata Knight Riders, none of the teams were willing to buy him at the 2016 auctions. The auctions were going on during a quarterfinal Ranji clash between Bengal and Madhya Pradesh. While Tiwary was sitting outside with a few other team members and support staff, quite a few were glued to the TV inside the dressing room. Apart from Tiwary, Ashoke Dinda, Mohammed Shami and Pragyan Ojha were the other big names in the side. "When I went inside the dressing room for a loo break, everyone was quiet. There was no talk of the auctions. No one was willing to tell me that I went unsold," he recalls.

Mentally, it was one of the lowest phases for him as a cricketer. He might have been the guardian of Bengal's cricket's legacy, but within that dressing room, there were cricketers who found acceptance, while he didn't. No team was willing to put their money on him. He contemplated hard and long. Was all that he was doing in domestic cricket of any good? Was anyone watching him? He questioned. But there was no one to answer. Consolation wasn't enough. "When I got to know, I was shocked. The century I scored in the second innings was purely out of anger."

He almost went unsold in the next auctions as well, before getting picked up in the third round by Rising Pune Supergiant. He made a telling impact for the side, scoring 327 runs at a strike rate of 137.28 and playing an instrumental part in their journey to the final.

It's been 11 years of first-class cricket for Tiwary and he has served Bengal cricket with distinction during this period. However, he couldn't match the legacy of Ganguly. Even as he is an affable 'dada' for his teammates, by nature he is anything but Ganguly. He is modest and coy, soft and genial. He is unlikely to inspire a lot of confidence as a fighter, but time and again his emotional side has got him confrontational

The latest was when he lashed out at Rashid Latif on social media for criticising Virender Sehwag. It doesn't suit his personality and doesn't reflect adequately the kind of soft-spoken person he is. Even his aggressive threats and name-calling sound more funny than intimidating. He is partly embarrassed of it, but justifies the act.

"That was pretty instinctive. Now, you know why it happened," he said, signalling at the story of how Sehwag helped him bat at No. 4 for India. "My connection with him will always be there. I was just going through social media updates. I usually just go through my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook (and not react). But that day, suddenly I saw that video by Rashid Latif. And the tone in which he was talking and the words he used...

"If he could have used a better way of expressing what he wanted to say, I could've taken it. But not this. That was the only reason. I hadn't planned or anything," he added on why he lent support to the former Indian opener when he was criticised by Latif.

That wasn't a one-off incident of displaying his emotions. A couple of years before this incident, was the on-field spat with Gautam Gambhir during a Ranji Trophy game. The equation between the two hadn't been great for a long time, starting from their time together with Kolkata Knight Riders. What transpired between the two there, remains unknown, but he does say without naming Gambhir or anyone in specific: "I have always been a straight forward guy, an upfront guy. If I see something wrong, I go up to the concerned people and tell it to them on their face. And that doesn't go well with some people. That hampers my case at times.

"My mother and my wife have asked me to be diplomatic about things, but I can't do it. If I see something wrong happening in front of me, I can make a contribution with my point of view because I have always captained sides. I can't see basic things going wrong. Even in IPL as well."

However, during the Ranji game, it was the wastage of time which irked Gambhir. A heated argument began between the two and it rose to the two threatening each other of physical harm. While Gambhir has maintained a public silence on the issue, Tiwary says it was a misunderstanding on the part of the Delhi batsman which started the fight.

"Whenever I bat, the cushion of the helmet gets wet because I sweat a lot," he explained. "I usually hang the cushion in a hook inside the dressing room. When I came down to bat, I took my helmet but forgot to get the cushion. The match was happening in the evening. There was very less time to play. One batsmen had got out. So when I saw the cushion missing, I asked one of the players to go get the cushion quickly. So I was walking slowly towards the crease, hoping that by the time I take strike, the cushion would've reached me. But Gauti bhai thought that was wasting time."

He maintains the relationship between the two has improved and adds that he doesn't want to get into any more fights. "In last year's IPL, we spoke normally like we used to earlier. So it's good now," he said of his healing equation with Gambhir. He goes on a philosophical tangent from thereon. "I like to make friends. At the end of the day, cricket will be there, money will be there, but if you can't beccome a good human, it's a waste living in this world.

"Hum sab paise, kaam, ladai, jhagde ke chakkar mein (tangled in life's battles of money, work and fights), we forget to realise how lucky we are to be alive, to be waking up every morning, while so many people are struggling for basic needs. Amongs all these things, why would I care to get into trouble with anyone? It's all good now, and that's how I want to go ahead."

Cricket-wise everything may not have gone his way, given all that he promised as a teenager and during his early 20s, but he is in a much better space right now, mentally. The loan has been paid off long back. He visits foreign locations for vacation with his wife. Has served Bengal cricket with distinction for over a decade. Played for India. Scored a century and taken wickets in national colours.

"It gives a lot of relief when you see that your dad's loan has been paid off and he is relaxed. No pressure at all. To see my parents happy, feels very good. No matter how big we become in our profession, we will always be indebted to our parents. Whenever I think about my past, how I got into cricket, I do not give much importance to luck. Whatever little fan base I have got, whatever little income and respect I have earned, whatever friends and name I could have made, was because of cricket. I can only say the timings of my injury were bad. Things could have gone in a better way for me."